As I sit in my kids’ middle school, waiting for the start of my son’s 504 meeting , I am reminded. It is times like these that I HATE being a single parent. I sit in these meetings; I listen, I bite my lip, I hold back tears and I do it alone. I envy the married parents working as a team to resolve the issues facing their child. I have seen these Unicorn parents at parent-teacher conferences. Productive and supportive couples, two grown adults working together in the best interest of their child.
I wonder which is more difficult – going into these meetings solo, or going in with your ex. I can imagine the stress associated with having to sit next to your ex – the discord, the contempt, the pain – lots of blame and finger pointing. But wouldn’t this anger offer a distraction from the gut wrenching fear for your child’s future? How I wish I had someone else to share the responsibility, the discipline, the decision making. Someone else to help shoulder my guilt. And someone else to blame.
When I divorced, I felt a huge sense of relief. My ex was troubled and I freed myself from the responsibility of cleaning up his messes when I set him free. I accepted 100% care and responsibility of my children. At the time I thought it was going to be a cake walk compared to parenting my ex. I was wrong. I can only hope that my children are better now for having my undivided attention. This one, flawed but loving adult. Heaven help them. Heaven help us all!
Here she is, the school social worker calling me into the meeting. Wish me luck.