One of the many things that I appreciate about our divorce support meetup, is our ability to learn from one another. Some folks come in with a ton of anger toward the opposite gender based on pain from their relationship. I often hear, “That’s a woman for ya” or “Typical Man!” But when we sit and listen to one another’s stories, we learn that good and bad behavior is not gender specific. Our mates have conducted themselves poorly, male or female. We may have conducted ourselves poorly. So we learn to accept ourselves and “others”. We accept that we all suffer from the human condition and a broken heart.
Yesterday I received an email from a woman inquiring about our group. Her spouse had left after 14 years together. And what makes this break-up more difficult, is the step-child she stands to lose. She wrote me to ask if our group would accept her.
Accept her…? Jeesh, we accept everyone. Heck we accept the dumpee and the dumper, the transgressy and the transgressor. Heart-ache, pain, anger, unifies us, the human condition…remember?!
“I’m gay,” she writes.
Ha, that’s a good one! Like my response would be any different because she is gay. Hmmmm, let’s see, is she heart-broken, in pain and anger? Does she suffer from the Human Condition? I’m being sarcastic, but you know what I mean. How unfortunate that she even bothers to ask. I guess the reality is some people may be uncomfortable with her sexual orientation. But let me be clear – divorce teaches us a ton of lessons. Some more difficult than others. Acceptance is one of them and is core to our group.
We are human, we get our hearts broken, all of us. Reaching out for the support of others, helps.
The End